Years ago, your father and I said Yes a few times. Yes to each other, Yes to building a life together, Yes under trees in the summer sunshine in front of 25 friends and family members. Yes to us.
And then we said Yes to both of you. We said Yes without knowing how much love, fun and heartache parenting would bring us. We said Yes without knowing how many unknowns there were, how many sleepless nights and how many tears would be shed. We said Yes without knowing how many diaper changes there would actually be, how many sheets would need to be changed in the middle of the night, how much laundry two kids can make in one day.
Fynn, we said Yes to having our first born with uncertain finances. I said Yes to carrying you in my belly, not knowing what an incredible experience it would be. We said Yes on our way to the hospital, and when your father asked if he should drive faster I said YES! I wanted you. I've always wanted you. You are so much of me, and I am so much of you, and Yes, no matter how many times you say "I'm not a baby" you will always be my baby.
And Paige. We said Yes to you, and before we knew it there you were. We said yes and literally two weeks later came the pregnancy test that read positive and even though we giggled and said "what have we done??" we knew you were meant to be ours. Even though we had no idea that at nearly two you would still be spending most nights in our arms, would never ever let us eat a meal without you in our laps, and that you are the wildest craziest hopping frog like girl in the world.... we said Yes. And would say Yes a thousand times over. You are also so much of me, and I am so much of you, and you will always be my baby.
Our days together are not always easy, but know that the first thing I tell myself in the morning is Yes. Yes to being here, with you both, and being the best mother I can be for you. Today.
While I might often say No, know that my heart always screams Yes for both of you. Yes to your hopes and dreams. Yes to acknowledge your fears and individualism. Yes to you. It's my mind that gets in the way, that automatically wants to say No, even though it's unnatural and learned... my heart says Yes a thousand times a day. To getting on the floor and playing for hours at a time, to building forts and to reading the story of the day for the hundredth time.
And know that I will always, always, say Yes to popsicles on the porch, to spur of the moment trips to the beach where we get drenched in salt water, and to snuggles and love and big hugs and wet sloppy kisses. Yes to both of you. Always.
Love you both,
Your mama
Tomorrow is the last day of Momalom's Five for Ten, and today and tomorrow's word of choice is Yes. It's in honor of Aidan Donnelley Rowley's debut novel Life After Yes. I can't tell you how excited I am, as I wait anxiously for my pre-ordered copy to arrive later this week! I hear it's absolutely fantastic, and you all should run right out and find copies :)
(and no... totally not bribed or sponsored to say this... Aidan is an incredible writer and will no doubt live up to all of our expectations!)
Congratulations Aidan!!
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